


Four Men and a Baby

by AngellovesMacCready



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Fluff, Funny, Gladio is trying to help, M/M, Noct is juvenile, Pining, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 21:58:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngellovesMacCready/pseuds/AngellovesMacCready
Summary: Four men on a road-trip find an abandoned baby and somehow get it to safety while teasing each other unmercifully. Prompto has a crush on Gladio (Supposed to be funny fluff with a little pining. With extra lashings of Gladio and Noctis sarcasm)





	Four Men and a Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I think I did post this for about 5 minutes before, but I've made Gladio less creepy now.

They were out far later than they should have been. Noctis hadn’t listened to Ignis and they had ended up walking in the dark, trying to find their way back to their camp, when daemons had spawned. Luckily only the insubstantial kind so they had despatched them quickly. After the sound of weapons on flesh and the growls of the daemons and the shouts of the men, now there was silence.

Gladio heard it first and scowled. “What’s that?”.

“Sounds like it’s coming from over there” said Ignis, pointing.

“More daemons?” Prompto suggested reluctantly.

“Hope not. I’m done” said Noctis.

With Noctis and Gladio in the lead and weapons out, the group moved toward the noise, a kind of stifled grunting.

Their lights shone on the ground ahead and highlighted a pile of rags. As they got close to it, they could hear the noise was coming from the rags and the rags were moving slightly. They stopped.

Prompto asked fearfully “What…is…that?”. He stood closely behind Gladio.

As the others were doing nothing but staring, Ignis skirted around them and stood next to the rags to get a closer look. “My goodness, it’s a baby!” he exclaimed with surprise.

“Out here?” asked Noctis, frowning.

“How’s it still alive?” asked Gladio.

“Is it okay?” asked Prompto, looking concerned and moving closer.

Ignis put his daggers away and knelt down next to the infant which continued to make weak attempts at crying.

“Don’t touch it. It might be demonised” Gladio warned.

“How can you tell in a baby?” Noct queried.

“Please, let it be okay!” Prompto pleaded.

“I will have to examine it” stated Ignis.

The other three huddled around while Ignis pulled back the tatty blanket that shrouded the baby, revealing it was naked and had a drying piece of umbilical cord hanging from it, indicating it was newborn.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” asked Prompto.

“I believe it’s a girl” said Ignis.

“Yeah, it’s a girl” said Gladio.

“Yeah, _you_ would know” said Noctis sarcastically.

“Why? Because I’m the only one here who’s seen a naked woman?” questioned Gladio, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah” said Noctis, smirking.

Gladio said smugly “Not that _you_ would know, you haven’t gone through puberty yet”.

Prompto laughed. Noctis smouldered.

Ignis slowly inspected the infant, turning her over to check her fully. “She appears to be unharmed but she is far too cold” he said. He noted her dry lips and lack of crying. “She’s dehydrated having been left out here for who knows how long. We need to get her to the hospital at Lestallum as quickly as possible”.

“Do we have any food we can give her?” asked Prompto, worried.

“We have milk in the Regalia?” suggested Noctis.

“Might make her sick. Should just give her water. The hospital staff can feed her the right stuff” said Gladio.

“You’re right, Gladio. We’ll get her to the camp and give her water then drive to Lestallum” said Ignis.

Ignis wrapped her back in the blanket and awkwardly picked her up. He stood up.

“I’ll take her” offered Prompto. He put his hands out and Ignis couldn’t resist Prompto’s pleading expression. Ignis also knew he wasn’t holding her right and felt inadequate, something he rarely felt. He gladly handed her to Prompto. Prompto smiled and took her. He snuggled her to him and pulled the blanket back from her face.

They walked back to camp with Gladio, his sword out, walking protectively next to Prompto.

At camp, Noctis and Gladio began packing up their equipment. Ignis brought a bottle of water to Prompto, who was standing next to the fire. Ignis frowned.

Ignis thought out loud “How do I give it to her?”.

Gladio had been watching while he packed, he called out “Babies suck. Put the water on your finger”.

“ _Babies suck_ ” mocked Noctis and sniggered.

Gladio gave him a stern glare.

“I’ll do it. Go help the others” said Prompto and took the bottle from Ignis.

“Very well” said Ignis. He joined in with packing and then carrying their equipment to the car.

Prompto sat in a chair and propped the infant against his left shoulder. Now his hands were free, he opened the bottle and balanced the lid on his leg. He was about to pour the water when he noticed something.

“Sorry, baby. I have really dirty hands. But I guess water from dirty hands is better than no water?” he said.

Prompto poured a little water onto his finger then was about to put his finger to the baby’s lips then Gladio arrived next to him.

“Clean up first. Don’t want her getting sick from germs” said Gladio. He shoved a towel and soap at Prompto.

Prompto capped the water bottle and put it on his lap. He took the soap and towel from Gladio. Gladio lifted up his other hand that held a big bottle of water. Gladio poured water while Prompto wet his hands under it. Prompto used the soap then rinsed and finally dried his hands. Gladio put the big bottle down and put it’s lid on.

Prompto poured a little water onto his finger then put his finger to the baby’s lips.

“If you put your finger in her mouth, she’ll suck. Babies will suck anything. Even their own hands” said Gladio softly.

Prompto did as he was instructed and the infant weakly sucked his finger. He did it a few times.

“We need to go” said Gladio.

Prompto capped the water bottle and handed it to Gladio. He stood up and walked to the car where Noctis and Ignis were waiting. Gladio followed, laden with the soap, towel, two water bottles, and folded up chair.

Prompto was dismayed to see that Noctis was in the driver’s seat and Ignis in the passenger seat. “What, I don’t get shotgun?” he whined.

“Six eyes are better than four at night” said Noctis sarcastically.

“Baby is safer in the back” said Ignis.

“More room too” added Gladio, putting the items he was carrying in the open boot.

Prompto sighed and opened the car door and got carefully in the car.

Gladio slammed the boot closed, stepped around and shut Prompto’s door, then strode around to his own car door. He stepped over it with both legs into the car then sat down.

“Why can’t you open the door like a normal person?” scolded Prompto.

Gladio smirked. “Because I can. You would too if you weren’t such a shortass”.

“I’m not that short!” protested Prompto.

“ _Yeah_ , you are” said Gladio, grinning.

Prompto pouted.

“Keep quiet. Your bickering will distress the infant” said Ignis, glaring at them.

The Regalia roared to life and Noctis guided her out onto the road.

Gladio had brought the water bottle into the car with him. “Here, try to get her to drink more” he said. He uncapped the bottle.

Prompto dipped his finger into the bottle and put his finger against the baby’s lips. She sucked weakly again.

“She’s not getting enough. I remember Jared told me that women spit water in their babies’ mouths. Chewed up food too” said Gladio.

“When did Jared tell you that?” asked Prompto, frowning.

“When we got Iris. I had never been around a baby before. I thought she was fascinating for a while” said Gladio, defensively.

“You remember what Jared told you that long ago?” asked Prompto.

Gladio scowled at Prompto. “I’m not as dumb as I look”.

“I don’t think you’re dumb. You’re always reading. I can’t read that well. And I can’t finish a book. My mind wanders off. Too boring” said Prompto.

“Depends on what I’m reading about. You like games. Try reading fantasy novels. Same sort of storyline” said Gladio.

Prompto poured water into his mouth then handed the bottle to Gladio. He lifted the baby up and put his lips to hers and opened his lips just enough to dribble water into her half open mouth.

“Not too much or you’ll drown her” advised Gladio.

Prompto pulled back. The baby opened and closed her mouth a few times. She made a grunting noise then a slurping noise.

“I think she wants more” said Gladio.

Prompto dribbled more water to her.

Ignis looked around and his eyes widened. “What the _hell_ _are_ you doing?” he asked, horrified.

“Giving her water” stated Gladio.

“Stop it! It looks like you’re kissing her!” exclaimed Ignis.

Prompto stopped and hurriedly swallowed the rest of the water. “O-M-G. No! No! Definitely not!” he spluttered, panicking.

Gladio irritably said “Prompto’s just giving her water. She’s drinking it. Jared told me it’s a legit way people give babies water. As if Prompto’s going to be kissing a baby”.

“Oh, god no. No! No!” exclaimed Prompto, still panicking.

“Oh. Apologies. Not my area of expertise, I’m afraid” said Ignis.

Gladio looked at Prompto who was still fretting. “Don’t worry, Prompto. It was Iggy’s _mistake_ ”.

“Maybe you should hold her” squeaked Prompto.

“No. You’re doing just fine. Hey, let’s see if she’s warmed up” said Gladio.

Prompto nervously put his hand against her face. “She feels cold”.

“Put her against you for warmth. That’s what we do for shock in the battlefield” said Gladio.

“They taught you that? In the Crownsguard?” asked Prompto.

“Yeah. They taught me first aid. Iggy too, although he was taught more. Don’t always have a potion on hand” said Gladio.

Prompto was just staring at the baby.

“Warm her up” demanded Gladio.

“How?” asked Prompto, exasperated.

“Put her against you” said Gladio grumpily.

Gladio pulled back the baby’s blanket from her top half and pulled up Prompto’s vest then pressed the baby against Prompto. Prompto held her there.

“Skin to skin” said Gladio. His hand had brushed against Prompto’s chest as he lifted Prompto’s vest. He put his hand on Prompto’s chest again. “You’re almost as cold as her”.

“I haven’t got my jacket on” complained Prompto.

Gladio grunted unhappily. “Noct! Put the roof on! Baby’s cold!” he scolded. He slid his arm closest to Prompto out of his jacket. “Come closer, put your leg over mine. I’ll warm you both up”.

Prompto half turned towards Gladio and wiggled closer as the car roof came up and over them. Gladio held his jacket open so Prompto was now sitting against it. Prompto hooked his legs over Gladio’s closest thigh.

Gladio took the baby from Prompto and wrapped her blanket over her bottom half then placed her between them so her bare top half was in contact with the skin of both of them. He put his arm around Prompto and pulled him in closer.

Prompto put his jacket over his shoulder and around the front of the baby so his and Gladio’s jackets encircled her.

Prompto’s heart raced. He had never been this close to Gladio before. He tried to act normal.

Ignis looked around to see them in this position and both looking down, smiling at the baby and talking. The infant was making faces and snuffling noises.

Next time Ignis looked around, all three of them were asleep, Prompto’s head on Gladio’s shoulder and Gladio’s head on Prompto’s.

                                                                   *                    *                    *                    *

“I’m going to miss her. I didn’t even give her a name” said Prompto. He sighed.

“Just give her a name” said Noctis.

“A name to remember her by” said Ignis on the way into the bathroom.

“I don’t think you’ll ever find out what they ended up calling her. Might as well name her yourself” said Gladio.

“I’m going to call her Mavis” said Prompto firmly. He thought for a moment. “Baby’s are hard work” he said, pouting.

“You don’t really know. They normally cry a lot. She didn’t because she was too weak” said Gladio.

Prompto wrinkled up his nose. “They cry _a lot_?”.

“They cry when they’re hungry. Or tired. Or bored. In-between they’re okay. They’re happy and smile and you can play with them. But they get tired and hungry quick. Lucky, they sleep a lot too” said Gladio.

“So, as long as I kept Mavis fed and entertained and she slept, she wouldn’t cry?” asked Prompto.

“She’d cry less. And it depends on their personality. Jared said Iris was a good baby and hardly cried but I was awful and would scream until I passed out asleep” said Gladio. He sniggered.

“No change there then” said Noctis who was laying, eyes shut, on the other bed. He earned himself a glare from Gladio.

“Do you think they would let me adopt her?” asked Prompto.

“No babies” ordered Noctis.

“No, they wouldn’t. You’re too young” said Gladio.

“I’m 20!” said Prompto indignantly.

“You act like you’re 14” said Gladio.

“Do I?” asked Prompto.

“Yes” said Gladio.

“Yes” said Noctis from across the room.

“Yes” said Ignis from the bathroom.

“Does Noct act any older than me?” asked Prompto, scowling.

“Yeah. He acts _15_ ” said Gladio.

“More like 17 from what I remember you were like at that age, Gladio” said Ignis, coming out of the bathroom.

Gladio sullenly queried “What about when _you_ were that age?”.

Noctis said “I met Iggy when he was 6. He had already skipped childhood and gone straight to 30”.

Prompto and Noctis looked at each other and both sniggered.

Smirking, Gladio teased “Prompto, you don’t need to adopt. You and Cindy can have your own”.

Prompto frowned. “As if the goddess would marry _me_ ” he said.

Gladio spoke as he got up and started walking to the bathroom “One day someone will find you _attractive_ ”.

“Hope so” said Prompto looking wistfully at Gladio’s back.


End file.
